


and i’ll hold my breath and wish

by softlyspoken



Series: so tell me how long, love, before you go [3]
Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Angst, M/M, i had feelings ... unfortunately
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-10 02:23:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20520395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softlyspoken/pseuds/softlyspoken
Summary: aaron struggles with facing reality





	and i’ll hold my breath and wish

**Author's Note:**

> hmmm i had to

Robert drums his fingers against his knee, hears Liv turn the tap off, dry her hands and disappear up the stairs whilst Aaron hangs against the sink. He can’t look at, doesn’t dare until Aaron’s breathing unsteadily and Robert hears him almost crying.

It makes Robert stand slowly, move until he’s hovering close to Aaron and holding him by the shoulder, arms enveloping around his middle until the sound stops and Aaron turns towards him, brings a hand to Robert’s chest. His eyes are tried, heavy and filled with this sense of _sadness_.

Robert goes to speak, wants to say,_ I don’t ever want to leave you, I’m sorry._ But Aaron won’t let him, he can tell, just by the way he shakes his head softly, almost tries to smile.

Robert marvels against his strength, the way he’s rubbing his eyes with one hand and still holding a hand over Robert’s hand with the other. It’s gentle, heavy and almost suffocating at the same time. 

It’s saying _you’re mine_

It’s saying _fuck anything that’s trying to take you_

Robert closes his eyes gently, he wants to twist himself away, run and hide from the way he’s hurt Aaron. He wants and wants until Aaron speaks.

Says, “I promise ... we’ll sort this.” He even nods, he looks determined, looks like he wants to ruin the whole world for making them like this. Tears swim about in his eyes before they crash over his top and down and down and down.

“Don’t.” Robert whispers, a useless word in the air as Aaron holds at his waist and brings them together so that Robert is touching Aaron’s forehead. “Aaron.”

“It ain’t over.” Aaron mumbles, and the thought stretches so far in Robert’s mind the world around him nearly falls away. He almost can’t speak against it; against the idea that they might be, that he’s going to prison and he won’t make Aaron wait for him. 

Aaron shakes his head against Robert’s, squeezes at his hand and then holds it tighter and tighter. “I won’t let it be.”

Robert wonders about those times where Aaron was afraid of what he’d do for him, the arguments, the uncertainty. He sees it all in Aaron’s eyes, his own fire, his own determination to never let Aaron come to harm. Only this, it’s completely pointless, it won’t ever go further than an idea. 

Robert doesn’t deserve it to go any further.

“Maybe we need to start ... accepting this.” It’s the most mature thing he’s said, the bravest, the most sensible. But it doesn’t stop Aaron shaking his head, grounding himself closer to Robert and then resting his head in the crook of Robert’s neck.

“You’re not going anywhere.” Aaron whispers, again and again and again as if it’ll happen if he says it enough. “I won’t let you down. I won’t.” He mumbles, there’s a flash of Vic in his mind and his voice is tense with anger again until Robert lightly kisses his head.

“I love you.” Robert manages, and Aaron pulls away, crumbled smile on his face and a softness around all his edges again. This, _this_ is what Robert wanted to see for the rest of his life. 

His face is wet like Robert’s t-shirt and he nods slowly before meeting Robert’s eyes again and saying with so much sincerity, “And I love you.”


End file.
